J’APPROVE! (mostly.)

(via Uncrate)

I can usually rely on Uncrate for dope stuff, and this John Varvatos outfit is no exception. The Garb: Band Back Together set looks so dope…the bag is awesome, the boots are rad, the rag reminds me of Bruce Springsteen. Bruce Springsteen, y’all.

Crotch of steel.

Anyway, the only thing that I have a problem with, and it’s a minor problem, is that tan jacket. It looks cool, but it has too many buttons, and I’m a drinker. I’ll probably think that it’s an awesome idea to button all these buttons up when I’m drinking. After a few glasses of $10 Bourbon, I’m gonna get hot, gonna want to take off the jacket, and I’m gonna be all like “How do I deal with all these buttons?!”

Aside from my sobriety problem with the jacket, I can dig all of this. Even the thermos. I like to think that the thermos would be filled to the brim with single malt Islay scotch…maybe even a Great Divide craft beer…or Sunny D.

In any case, bravo John Varvatos. Bravo.

For Whom Are You Dressing?

So, our maiden voyage is going to be about how men ought to be dressing for women, you know, just like that archaic notion that women should be dressing for men. Wait, hold on, hold on…

I thought that we were all past that. Just the very thought that people should dress for the benefit of others is a particularly nauseating one. Shouldn’t we be dressing for our own benefit? To make ourselves feel better? To make ourselves feel more confident? To make ourselves feel more comfortable?

I have a feeling that Ask Men may very well be a frequent punching bag for me.

My fiancée loves elbow patches, and I don’t mind them, as long as they don’t overpower the entire outfit. However, this shit looks mad unfuckingforgivable:

Yo, this motherfucker looks dope as hell from the front, but those elbow patches look suspect. It’s like the designer just wanted to put a big, gaudy, polka dot on your elbows. I wouldn’t be caught dead in this blazer…and you know what Tracy Jordan says:

The rest of the article was all “blahblahblah, boring blazer, cheap blazer, obvious blazer, man-of-the-sea-trend jacket, impress girls, fuck bitches, I can’t believe I’m getting paid for this half-assed advice, blahblahblah.”

I love menswear and all, but every time I see a piece with a bunch of manboys parading around in boring menswear with some tagline about how it’s supposed to impress the girls, I’m just like “Let’s get real, you guys. We’re really just trying to appeal to the lowest common denominator here, aren’t we?”

I get it, sex sells and other hackneyed adages. Whatever.

If we’re to have a sophisticated look, shouldn’t we have a sophisticated mindset to match it?

For daily wear, a blazer is borderline pretentious. Have you seen the dudes at the bar who wear blazers and sportscoats? It’s like a fedora for your torso. Save it for a special occasion or that awesome night out with your significant other…unless it’s absolutely necessary to the look that you’re trying to pull off. There are exceptions to every rule, of course, but the idea of wearing a blazer everyday is pretty exhausting. I wore a blazer everyday in my early 20s…believe me, it didn’t make my t-shirts look any more sophisticated. I looked like a d-bag. I wasn’t impressing anyone.

Chill the fuck out, bros. Most of all, dress for you.